Redline paradise!

It is official now, the ‘secret’ is true; thoughts do indeed turn into things. All the redlines that were set before by all the politicians in Kuwait are being realized – everything in Kuwait is becoming either banned or censored. A few days ago, I went to watch a movie in the cinema like any decent citizen in Kuwait who doesn’t know what on earth to do during this hot summer. The movie was not bad, except for the fact that the bearded dude who cut ‘pornographic’ content out of the movies was replaced with a new dude with an obviously longer beard. As a result, movies are getting shorter and shorter.

Who would decide to go to watch an American movie and then be completely surprised and shocked by a scene with a woman in a swim suit?! Please don’t jump to the conclusion that I go to the cinema specifically to watch these moments. It just happens that important plot twists take place while one of the actresses is not being ‘mullah-friendly.’ Simply cutting this part out of the movie will ruin the whole experience for viewers. At least leave the voice on and cover the picture!

So you go back home disappointed and you switch on your computer, trying to log in to your blog to whine about your frustration, only to find that your blog has been blocked! A message tells you that it was closed in compliance with
regulations and if you feel it is a mistake you should write to technical support. You try to keep your hopes up and you write the email. What you get back is an explanation that the blog was blocked due to a decision by a ministry, or in other words, ‘Shut up, get out of my mind and close the door behind you.’

You think, ‘Forget about it, I will just talk to a friend and complain to him about the whole thing. Maybe I will feel better.’ You log into Facebook, where you feel like someone is sitting somewhere, making fun of how naive you are for
making him rich as you share personal details of your life on his website. You find a friend who is living outside of Kuwait who wants to talk to you with the use of a decent medium of communication. Your friend simply asks you to ‘Skype him,’ completely oblivious to the fact that this service is illegal in Kuwait.

You try to explain why it is illegal by saying things like, ‘Well, company owners influence laws in Kuwait and they can forbid anything that can limit their profits and they happen to have decided that we should not use Skype.’
Your friend tells you that he cannot understand how people can continue to live under these circumstances. Deep inside, though, he thinks that you are just politely avoiding having a conversation with him. He says that he has to go and logs out.

You think to yourself, ‘I am a journalist, I should do something! This injustice should not continue!’ only to discover that you cannot criticize newspaper advertisers. You think ‘forget it, the government shouldn’t allow these things
to happen. I will criticize them for that and they are the ones to blame.’ Then you remember Al-Jasem and Al-Fedhala.

At that moment you start thinking about the movie ‘Shawshank Redemption’ or even ‘Brave Heart.’ You think ‘Okay, you know what, I will not write anything this week. I don’t want to stumble upon a redline. It seems that this life will
never be good enough for me to enjoy. I just want to worship Allah actively and follow his orders by being a good Muslim. Maybe I will go to heaven and enjoy it there.’ Suddenly, you find out that by doing so you are instigating
sectarian hatred in the country! So you decide to go to hell instead. Then, you ask yourself a couple of very important questions; ‘Will all of those guys be there waiting for me?!’ and ‘Will I be accused of promoting Satanism?!’

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